A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace".

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home".

  An agent who was being paid by the week approached his office manager and held up his last paycheck.

'This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on,' he said.

'I know,' the manager said. 'But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.'

'Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake,' the agent answered, 'but when it gets to be a habit, I feel
I have to call it to your attention.'

  A very successful real estate broker had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my real estate office. All you have to do is go to the office every day and learn the business."

The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate office. I can't stand agents."

"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some the paperworks."

"I hate paperworks," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."

"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of my real estate office, but you don't like office and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"

"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"